It’s simple math, really. Everybody knows that 1 geriatric Nazi is equal to a thousand brown kids who’s parents are fleeing for their lives. See? SAME. Now. Where’s that bottle I’m too drunk to remember where I put? 

“CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE CROCK IS COOKIN?”

Girl, SAME. I actually had to scroll back up to make sure that was a real photo that hadn’t seen any sort of visual aid. DRAG HER. 

This seriously sounds like the script from a Steve Urkle sex tape. 

Scott Lloyd is a bright, full-page, technicolor advertisement for what happens when you really actually should very much abort, abort, abort. 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL. 

As a gay man I must insist you not compare that.... thing... to the delightful wonder that can be an anus. Besides, an anus YOU fuck. An anus doesn’t fuck you. 

Wait, she named a yacht placed on a freshwater lake SEAquest? Sounds like she could use some of that education she’s so adamant to defund. Idiot.

They do and it’s included with all basic cable packages as FOX News. 

If I’m a spy and my whole gig is trying to sneak around and lie and be covert, maybe my first move isn’t dying my hair so bright and brassy red it could be seen from space? They talk about all of her financiers but there wasn’t $100 in that budge for a decent bottle job? Jesus. 

It ain’t open yet, sweetums. Fingers crossed though. 

Also, he seems to have thought you were that girl, Lady McHighHorse...

A fire? Literally anywhere will do. 

She already did the milk schtick in a video of hers. Called “Not Myself Tonight.”

Oh THAT is where he decided he’s a picky eater? Fuck that fat fuck and by that I mean absolutely do not. Have a really hot, torrid affair with a new man for every single time he’s declined that clam.

Yeah. The idea that an adult is shilling out their 9-year old to give profanity-filled, n-word using interviews for income is the zenith of poor taste. To say the least.

I’m guessing the years are adding up to a sum of “senile.”

Could he have picked a more opportune time to try and get away with canning an elderly guy who is trying to do the most performative, masturbatory job there ever was? Sorry Ryan, even if you were loved and adored, firing a priest is not a good look from the right.

Paul Ryan is literally in a piety pissing contest with a fucking priest.

How else would you know I was talking about that person if I didn’t use the most Blatant racial epithet I could come up with pickets split? I mean, it’s not like I was trying to describe an ACTUAL person!