THAN MAYO!?!? ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW!?!!

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

Yup, raising kids is very expensive and very hard.

Me, as a child-support paying divorced mom with 50/50 physical custody, who still buys school uniforms and new shoes and haircuts for my kids because my ex-husband won’t.

I’m probably being a huge asshole but I have trouble understanding how the non-custodial parents not paying child support are the victims here.

Good on her! Harmless, eccentric people make the world a better place. More lively, more interesting, more spiritually challenging. Good for you, Green Lady!

I love her. I know that’s not the consensus on this site, but I think she’s awesome and hilarious and I’m so excited for this next season.

That Jennifer Lawrence impression is *spot on*.

Can the ladies of SNL just do a music vid EVERY week please?! After this, Do It On My Twin Bed, Back Home Ballers, etc., I think that is truly SNL’s strong point. For as much shit as SNL gets, this group of ladies is really kickass, and they play off each other so well.

That boiled potato better have butter on it or I guarantee neither me or my dog will eat that.

There’s no way Fresh Choice isn’t the name of the section with the sad prepackaged wraps inside a gas station.

It’s the face you make when someone accidentally drops a sexual innuendo in a super-serious office meeting and you want to laugh but you look around the room and realize you might be the only one who picked up on it... From here on out can we just call that the Stacy Dash?

Guys, THIS:

I’m extremely pro-choice (and work in OB at a Catholic hospital, so... it’s a struggle), but I didn’t get the impression from the information in this write-up that we’re talking about a ball of unviable cells here. If we’re talking about like, a 25-week-old baby that should have gone to term, I don’t care what kind of…

Maybe. But I’m on Swift’s side. I know she’s a vanilla white girl we all roll our eyes over, but she’s one of many women who have to put up with this shit from men looking for cheap plugs.

And then said I owed him sex because of it. Kanye has really been into rape culture recently.

But why can’t Taylor stand up for herself? I’m sure if it was one of us we would’ve done the same thing up on that stage and maybe not as nicely either.

Fucking good for her. I'd be pissed if some egomaniacal dude was trying to take credit for my massive success too. This is the most I've ever liked Taylor Swift.

I’m super not getting what insufferable thing Taylor Swift did here.

“Yeezus, can you just give it a west already” said Taylor, swiftly.