I require my partner to use protection unless I’m in a relationship. I used protection every time before said STD (apparently didn’t work very well huh?) and I will continue to!

Yes, but that’s only because I already have an STD that I’d rather not give to someone else.

I got this jacket from J Crew Outlet last winter and wore it everywhere. It was so nice and cozy and warm and so stylish. I can’t wait for it to be cold enough to wear again.

My college roommate laid in her bed all day long eating...

I believe felony assault requires the use of a dangerous/deadly weapon.

how the FFFFFFFF did The Fat Jewish get invited to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner?!

Top sheets are 1 million percent necessary and anyone who disagrees is a monster. Flannel top sheets are the only reason I am ever warm in the winter.

Ted Cruz, is your name Campbell’s? Cause you are mmm mmm good!

“Hello? Yes. Cesar, please.”

Say this to my face, coward

“any nervous jitters?”

Yay! On my birthday, I went to a bar/club and ended up hanging out with a bunch of the cast. They were delightful. Especially Uzo!

I love how everyone else is smizing and Diane Keaton is like, “fuck it I’m going all in”

it looks like he wrote that list via a magic marker in his mouth

same.

“at least Cosby knocked his victims out b4 he raped them.”

I will take the path of our great and honorable Supreme Court Justice Judy and simply read the description. No need for ugly tears before beddy bye.

Okay I love Grimes and I love that video but can we agree that she is a terrible lip syncer?

Who r these ppl

I was watching this with my sister the other day because we’ve both become pretty big fans of the show, and whenever someone came on screen, we would both say “ugh, he/she is the worst!” When we realized we had said that about most of the characters, we came upon the realization that we are not, in fact, pretty big…