From myopicprophet:

By your logic, a slice of cheese ceases to be a slice of cheese

So, not really.

Keith Hernandez, the guy from Seinfeld. 

You can acknowledge, rightly, that listing it as a line-item instead of just integrating it into the food prices is a nasty way for restaurant owners to turn their customers against their own employees.

I mean, if your vehicle hits something while you’re using that feature, I’m going to hold you accountable.

Where have you parked your Tesla?

Fuck this shit.

I feel like you could’ve helped progress the process of not tying everything Osaka does back to that moment by not using the entire final paragraph of this article to tie Osaka’s actions in this unrelated match that didn’t even feature Williams back to that moment.

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

My wife was watching the match, regarding the fifth set to quote her “Watch these before they show up on deadspin.”

I saw CC approach the mound and I was mortified he was going to take me out.

Dear Penthouse,

what's your point?

Yeah, man, it’s almost like drivers are getting grumpy when bikes put themselves at risk, and bikers are getting grumpy when others are putting THEM at risk. So weird!

Ah yes. The Morris Buttermaker rule:

No, because they form a right angle, as they fan out across the globe, the foul lines would actually meet and touch again on the direct opposite side of the earth from home plate. Now, you could do a few things with this. Make it so only one quarter of the earth’s surface is actually “in play” with three quarters as…

You’ll cancel season tickets because of a net, and you’re talking about over-reactions?

Ya’ll can get the everloving fuck out of here with this “don’t sit that close when you have kids” asshole nonsense. It probably costs less to get nets to the fucking foul pole in every fucking stadium than it does to pay for each team’s highest paid player for one at bat.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.