And somehow, Yamcha got beaned.

I’m 100% serious when I say that is the most spot-on observation about anything sports-related I’ve seen all week. You should probably raise the Insight stat on your character sheet to more accurately reflect your actual capabilities— a +1 should probably do it.

I mean, that is total fucking bullshit. First of all, why is it incumbent on the batter to get out of the way. Don’t throw at the batter! Second of all, it looked like he was keyed in, ready to swing, and then when he saw the ball was coming for him, it was too late.

This is what happens after years of spaying and neutering.

Hot take: Plinko is overrated, and was even before LeBron decided to steal it and make a whole show out of it.

Hey man, I don’t know if anyone told you yet, but you got it backwards. Also, you’re an idiot.

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

It does. I always forget that Pitch fx is shown from the catcher’s perspective.

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot.

Just to save everyone some time:

A rare time in which fantasy football advice and real football advice intersect: DON’T TAKE A FUCKING KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND

How about shortening the lineup to 6 players? How about creating a cadre of robots that throws 5,000 pitches per second to allow for simulation of the entire season? How about summarily executing all players from the 25 man rosters of any team involved in a game that exceeds 45 minutes? We must examine all available…

You are aware there is more than one pitch thrown in a game, right?