I’m waiting for a big game to be decided by a team down by 7 scoring a TD with less than a minute left and still losing because they missed the XP

Because this is Deadspin so they just have to shit on everything

I never understood why anyone would want more missed kicks in a football game.

Pork chop sandwiches!

No, it’s Tebow so we can never say anything good about him. That’s the rule.

Yeah forcing people to disclose their vote sounds like a fantastic idea.

The storyline should be “Why do so many people care about the playoff rankings with 5 weeks left?”

Yup, Cubs fans are going to be the new Red Sox fans.

If it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town

Opening day will feature a Limozeen concert after the game.

Those are good burgers, Walter.

Damn, the season is over already? Here I am thinking there are still a few weeks left and these rankings don’t mean anything!

Browns third rounder will almost certainly be the equivalent of a late second, no?

Because if I’ve learned anything from Deadspin, it’s that officiating never influences the outcome of the game!

I still want my money back from them for Albert Belle. I’ve written several letters.

Because I only cheer for teams that agree with my politics 100%

Seriously, how is he a sports writer?

Patrick Redford, ladies and gentlemen!

I am ashamed.

Fuck it. Let’s go bowling, Dude.