I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…

Playing in Ecuador? He just keeps going and going. There’s no quito in him. That guayaquil himself before he retires.

How does a semi-literate fucktard such as yourself work up the stones to mock the intelligence of anybody?

I definitely didn’t mean that the people of Flint complaining about the water quality are the blowhards, not at all. But that’s not what Michael and a ton of other people are arguing about on this issue. They want to blame someone politically and so it seems they have convinced you to do as well.

The woman recording says the Pats fan is still in the overturned box of filth

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

dude what kind of magic TV do you own

It is a subtle criticism of today’s military. Both the army and navy have focused training and weapons development on desert and warm ocean warfare since the end of the Cold War, which military experts believed would be fought in Eastern Europe and the USSR.

I hope Kobe scores 40 in this game. On 113 shots.

Q: What’s a Rabbitoh?

Like I'm going to listen to the opinion of someone who goes to the airport to watch a movie.

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.

Imagine how many more hungry the 12th Man could feed and clothe if it didn’t travel across the country en masse to watch a football game. Lots of cancer drugs those plane tickets could buy instead...

Based on this Instagram post it appears that Pacman is a stand-up guy.

My wife had Fox News on last night when she went to bed. The woman and her two guests repeatedly talked about how embarrassing it was and how these soldiers were forced to do things they didn’t want to do and that it was basically an act of war.

My mom forwarded me this facebook-meme-math-catasrophe. I called the police and now she is safely behind bars for the rest of her rotten life.

“Because of his business background. I feel like Washington needs somebody new and non-establishment, and I think Washington could use a good businessman who knows how to fix the budget. Our economy is not doing so great. There is so much fiscal irresponsibility. I think having a good Republican president would…

because some Republicans in Oregon were nice to her about a religious issue this one time and she also hates gay people.