All I can do is think about what would happen to those nasty dash feet in the event of an accident. Especially because I know someone who lost their hand (their good one, too; not the off-hand) because they were one of those idiots who hung their arm out the fucking car window and ended up getting sideswiped by an…

My dad taught me to drive in his Corvette. Now that I think about it, he was either insanely chill to do that or just insane.

No. You should eat them on the floor of your closet, under a pile of coats and blankets, as far away from the eyes of God and man as possible. D:

That is both a fantastic and pathetic cheat of the system. If you can't EAT ALL THE THINGS! anymore, may as well EAT ALL THE PICKLES!, right? :D

But you don't eat them all at once, right?

I want DJ Roomba to play Amazing Grace at my funeral.

Tell us anyway, please. :D

I think it's a very sound business technique and the correct thing to do for a wide variety of products, including his, for the reasons that OP already explained in his post. Just imagine the kind of shit reviews Harrison's would have if it was cheap or free (versus the bad reviews it has because it's $200 so people…

I think it's a very sound business technique and the correct thing to do for a wide variety of products, including his, for the reasons that OP already explained in his post. Just imagine the kind of shit reviews Harrison's would have if it was cheap or free (versus the bad reviews it has because it's $200 so people…

Oh, shut up, Sarah.

All these whiny burner accounts are the idiot author of the original piece. She went on an unholy tear in the comments section of her on article with a sockpuppet account and generic "guest" account, all in this same style.

A server stuck with a group of red hat ladies gets ALL my sympathy.

That's why it says asshole cheapskates. :D

Damn it! None of these links work! They all redirect back to this page and trying to copypasta them just gives me an incomplete link. I hate you, kinja. I hate you so hard.

It's okay, Friend Cew-smoke; I got your joke. <3

Really? "No rice, no curry, chocolate or spice"? What a pathetically bland palate.

If you're in a position to order breakfast at 2pm on a Tuesday, you're either doing something very right with your life or horribly wrong. Either way, I can't blame him for asking.

I had no idea this existed and am so excited to start watching when I get home this evening. Thanks! :D

No kidding. The woman made pushing a stool around hilarious. Pushing. a. stool!

No, she contacted Aniston to return the photos. So it's more like the widow of your high school ex offering the photos he had of you two.