Trump pay your bills to the Piano Man!

I know Britney has had her trials and tribulations and I wouldn’t want to go through any of what she’s been through, but just once in my life I would like to experience what it’s like to be that attractive. To be able to look in a mirror and think “Lookin’ good!” instead of “Good lord, man, you belong in a bell tower.”

I thought they were humongous moths.

So Trump voters - you like it when someone “tells is like it is” and “doesn’t worry about whose feelings get hurt” - well here goes. You are all a bunch of brain-dead idiots and the country would be infinitely better off without you. Us smart people will keep dealing with you, if we have to, because we are nice, but…

The pure delight in her facial expressions just filled me with joy.

Thanks to our fellow Jezzie, HerRoyalRedness, we have one handy!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little fellatio. Please don’t insult the many perfectly lovely people who enjoy the act by putting them in the same category as the semi-sentient glob of Cheeto dust, pavement chewing gum and used cat fur.

I also liked Jerry Springer’s tweet

Someone on my Facebook shared this, just now, and I have to spread it around, because it’s amazing. Note the tiny hands:

I know the audience wasn’t supposed to react. Which makes great sense and is sound policy. But the derisive laughter when Trump insisted his temperament was his strongest point was kind of a delicious guilty pleasure.

I’m still stunned from the moment Trump doubled down on the concept of turning our armed forces into global mercenaries “we defend them? Let them pay for it” to the point that Hillary felt the need to turn to the camera and reassure other countries that no, contrary to what Orange Cheeto just said, the US will uphold…

super hella fragile racist extra #Bragadocious

So far, that line and Tyrion Lannister’s “That’s what I do - I drink and I know things” are neck-and-neck in the running for my Motto of the Year competition.

I can’t believe this thread! You brainwashed sheeple are obsessed with cleanliness! A little fucking dirt never hurt anybody! Natural oils are healthy! People that shower twice a day are the real freaks here! Use a towel twice, live a little! And I pee in the shower like every single time, fuck all yall

All I’m getting from this discussion is that next to no one on Jezebel understands domestic plumbing works. Unless you live or work in a modern, ecologically designed building, all household waste water goes through a single pipe to either your septic system or to a sewage processing plant. There are other situations…

It had the same effect on me. I felt tremendous sadness. So well done. This is one of the most powerful things I’ve seen happen on social media. She is a genius.

Tears, tears everywhere. This is beyond powerful and I have no words.

like i dont know what performance art awards exist but this should be a serious contender

this is heartbreaking.