First Law Of Takes: A take shall remain in effect until its retraction is demanded by a more powerful organization.

Still can’t believe they kept the rest of the coaching staff. The report clearly said “coaches” so they’re still harboring the people that covered up rapes, intimidated victims, etc.

“I did not have sexual relations with that girl”
“I should spend tens of millions of dollars investigating this and try to get this man impeached!”
-Ken Starr 1997

“Did I rape her? I mean...”
“Good enough for me!”
-Ken Starr 2016

People born in ‘88 aren’t grown men. They’re still chi-

I wanna hang out backstage and light batteries on fire with Ludacris

the report says stories on “sensitive topics” were regularly forwarded to women on staff to informally sign off on

“Someone did something bad. At some point. Whoever they might be, and whatever that bad thing might have been, we’re confident that the problem has been handled now.”

Well, an actual report might identify instances of wrongdoing, for one.

Diana truly does the Lord’s Work around here. I won’t say which Lord but certainly one of them.

Mrs. Murphy sounds like a racist bitch.

Versus having a cat, which is a worthless ball of fur and indifference. At least the dog likes you. The only person who would call dogs pieces of shit is a piece of shit.

Why don’t you focus on yourself, Samer, and stop chastising. Sure, evolution made pandas ridiculous, but there’s clearly something wrong with you too. 99 out of 100 humans agree, it would be awesome to put on a panda hat, grapple with a panda who wants to hug a wall, then pull pull on its leg to keep it from tumbling…

This is weird to me. I get not liking someone because of their personality, but it always strikes me as odd when people say they dislike someone because they didn’t reach their potential. I mean, it’s his potential. It’s not like he robbed you of something - it wasn’t yours to have in the first place.

Non-fatal strangulation is an important risk factor for homicide of women.

I’m surprised he didn’t play the “Duke lacrosse!” “UVa rape!” card like Paterno’s son did.

Holy. Shit. Just burn that entire place down.

This feature really reaches new depths of trolling the Cardinals and their fans.

yes, and then they got swept the next season in the first round, the first time in a long time if ever the reigning champs were swept in the first round. checkmate

Cuban is one of the biggest loud mouths in sports.

It’ll be really fun this summer when Cubes starts tweeting about how well his personal courtship of free agent Kevin Durant is going...right before Durant signs someplace else.