True story: a co-worker asked me how to spell 'voila'…I said "v - o -…" "No", she said, " 'wallah!' like ta-dah!, you know." I replied, "I do know, and it's French…v-o-i-l-a". She wrote it down but I'm pretty sure she asked someone else just to be sure.

Timothy Olyphant and Maggie Q…need I say more?

And that pretty much ends our usefulness in their eyes.

*opens twitter, deletes 'witty' comment about symbolism*

My vets are so lovely when it comes to saying good-bye. They turn the lights down, light some candles, and administer the drugs while the client gets to pet and talk to their animal, if they wish. Then they leave the room and tell you to take as long as you need. As horrible as that experience was, they made it so…

I realize that it's probably exhausting writing obituaries in 2016, but this seems somewhat…sparse. Surely someone as prolific and beloved - and cranky - as Leonard Cohen deserves more than this.

Throw the bums out, but basically re-elect Congress. I can only hope that Democrats are as good at obstructionism as the Republicans have been. Not proud to feel that way, but there you have it. Remember, the Supreme Court is a lifetime appointment, we could be feeling the pain of this election for generations.

Yeah, I was going to go with Second Life, but dat hair…

I just figure the /s is assumed here.

I see you're showing off your unicode. I suppose you think you're better than us, with your superscript.

Only until the font gods finally deliver us that much prayed for sarcasm font. Screw world peace, I'm tired of having to explain when I am being snarky and when I'm not.

If I don't get enough sleep, I feel hung over nowadays. Sucks doesn't begin to describe it!

Well, when you frequently drag your nutsack through the brambles, you want all the protection you can get. (I mean, I would imagine…not having a nutsack of my own…sooooo jealous!)

This! Disqus is holding me back from wowing you all with my massive brain power.

Yes, no histrionics, just awe…

Pretty much. Phallic symbol…I mean fireplug in honor of firemen…who the woman that donated the money wanted to bone, apparently.

Of course you will! Didn't you see that nice gentleman changing "Jew-S-A" the other night? Charming!

Darn this vagina!!!

The movie is called Cherry Falls and it's about kids losing their virginity and it's not a parody? Opportunity. Missed.

As well you should, you are both dead to me!