Cleveland, you could at least try to make it hard for us to make fun of you…

Do they even make boxing gloves that small?

Yeah, I know I'm in the minority when it comes to E.T. but gods did I hate that movie!

I remember when I saw the trailer for this, it actually brought tears to my eyes, I couldn't wait for it to come out…fast forward to me walking out of the theater "well that was kind of a load of hooey". And I usually eat sentimental stuff up with a jumbo-sized spoon. For me, it's sort of like when I walked out of…

Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

Nah, that's East Bumfuck. Texas has West Bumfuck…totally different

And apparently quite a few for vagina..he he Igloo…

Offering human beings safe haven is not a fucking economics exercise! The plaque on the Statue of Liberty doesn't say anything about cost-benefit analysis. Just. Go. Away.

Check out the 2006 FBI report on White Supremacists infiltrating the police. It's all going according to plan - including their long-dreamt of race war.

#DumpsForTrump

He didn't really ever have a super majority. It took forever to finish the re-count in MN and seat Al Franken, and by then Ted Kennedy was already very ill, and we ended up with the Senatorfold.

Mitt: I already got beat by the black guy, I'm not losing to a chick!

Yes, at least douches have a purpose.

That wouldn't be the least bit surprising, what with Melanoma slathering caviar moisturizer all over his face. So done with this family!

She's searching for her porpoise in life.

If Dennis Haysbert gives me an erection, I am most definitely suing, as that would mean he has also given me a penis. As a female, this is not what I was looking for in a Haysbert!

Dennis Haysbert causes explosions of fluids at my house.

Whatever you do, don't Google "Whack-A-Porn". I have no idea what would show up, but it can't be good.

So "not David Bowie (wink wink)" is playing Joe Strummer? That's range (not sarcasm).

The ultimate in "still life".