"Whatizit?"
"I don't know, I stepped down, felt something squish, and there it was on the bottom of my shoe."
"We have our mascot!!!"

"We can do better. We're not going to, but we can." Fixed that for you, CBS.

He could play MY bongs…and by that I mean something vaguely dirty - fill in your own blanks. (Or you could fill in mine…crap, I need a cold shower - I blame the pictures above.)

Is this where we do the 'two things' joke?

As an American woman, my filthy white devil hands will thank you to kindly shut up.

But Gods help them if they don't put their hands on their hearts while it plays! Respect MUST be paid!

I find it fascinating that, in a story about the Olympics, the Times would go to a Santa Rosa pool service for answers…but in reading the story, I see now that clever marketing ploy 101 actually works - the reporter probably googled 'pool service' and AAA came up first. Good job!

Which is how the Sarlacc keeps its girlish figure.

Are the dick cars no longer fast? Furious? Admittedly, I haven't seen any of the movies…I was waiting for My Fast and Furious Sweet 16.

It's inexplicable if you are an Olympic official…did you not read the entire article?

Yeah, and we had a blue-green algae scare at the Russian River last weekend. Coincidence? I think so.

Thanks, Evil. (May I call you "Evil"?) Glad to hear that, I guess my perspective is as out-of-date as the non-vag sports folks. LOL (non-sarcastic use sanctioned by Crotchety Old Ladies Club)

I might have to check this out. I love exploration games, or just wandering around open world games, because I want to know what's around that corner more than who I have to kill next. (That may have more to do with my propensity for frequent death in video games, though.)

I'm sorry, but the having of a vagina precludes them from being qualified for the job. 'Cuz sports.

I always respected him, he never tried to make himself the story, just told us what happened…even calling him a 'personality' seems a disservice, that's someone like Chris "Pay Attention to Meeeee" Berman, not John Saunders. RIP to a class act, my heart goes out to his loved ones.

Pfft…all the best killing is done with fire. Amateurs, I have to do everything around here…

"That would be a horrible day…" you know, for filing amicus briefs and the like. What? I wasn't talking about killing people - YOU'RE the one fomenting violence. Oh, and - racist!

When I do it, it is out of my devotion to what I feel is the most unacknowledged 'motivator' of all time: sheer and utter laziness. All this capitalizing and punctuating has left me exhausted…I'll be over here on the couch eating bon bons and watching Olympic field hockey because I can't be bothered to look for the…

Pretty sure Obama was responsible for Katrina…what a loser!

Soylent Green is people!!!!