"I believe in the power of prayer, candles, crystals, and the earth's natural energies. They are a gift from Mother Nature and work with our vibrations. I believe in the holistic power on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual."

So, my mother is a practicing witch. She has been since before I was born. At some point, the kids at my school discovered this, and deicded that I was SATAN (because that makes sense) and went to the woodshop to build crosses and followed me around school with them screaming at me to get back. I was like, you get…

It would be more accurate to describe Priyanka as a Bollywood superstar. Calling her a former Miss World is like referring to former Miss Ohio Halle Berry.

If I'm going to cheat on cats, it's going to be with red pandas. Suck it, long necks!

My daughters are the second generation of modest dressing in this family.

I am sexy No-face.

I bet you don't even own a television. Tell me all about who you think is the most underrated beat poet.

That will lit-rally never happen.

DON'T SCARE US WITH YOUR MISLEADING HEADLINES, JEZEBEL. LEARN JOURNALISM!!11!!

Next up, the Hot/Crazy scale! For science!

I love that little "chirp!" and the eyes of the cat shifting when the chick lays its head on the whiskers. That is one relaxed kitty and one trusting chick.

Aziz is one of the few male comedians whose standup I genuinely enjoy. "It's a cake with two tiny dolls who look like us." *snort*

It is known.

well done. the "looked like filtch" bit was brilliant. :)

It is known that women in Saudi are banned from driving

You need to ask your brother WTF he saw.

So, this one time I attended a wedding in a very remote castle as winter approached. My cousin was the bride and a bit offbeat like that (think off beat bride). But we made the schlep out to the castle because it's what she wanted. I was honestly surprised that there was even a wedding to go to – there had been rumors…

Tell us how you really feel, Dodai! No but seriously, I did get a chuckle out of that headline.

Ugh. Childbirth honestly scares the crap out of me.

I really thought the spelling of the "please marry me!" was a joke until I saw the picture. Bless his heart...