One of the Tulsa kids ran forward but turned his back to save his face. Had he gone forward, he would have blocked it.

“Upstairs, at the Pence’s private suite—separate from the Trumps’—he tried again for a victory kiss, and again she told him to back off.”

Christ, even their fights are boring.

The wheels can be quickly swapped, and the hood scoop can be removed. You may even be tempted to make this car look tasteful and close to stock.

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

“Deadline reports Mitch Pileggi and Cara Buono have joined the cast of Supergirl’s fifth season...”

Thank god someone finally said it. I just  thought that rape was part of the Lyft experience. 

Don’t worry, they are launching a Community Safety Education, which will be an “initiative to ensure everyone who uses Lyft always remembers what behavior is acceptable in a ride.” This is per an Instragram ad I saw in my stories. I’m glad I’ll be able to learn that rape is not acceptable behavior during a ride.

The thing about Obi-Wan and Yoda (and Luke) is that they don’t seem to physically die, but at the moment of death are physically subsumed into the Force. So maybe they have some sort of quasi-corporeality that gives them more “presence” in the physical plane. Qui-Gon and Anakin, on the other hand, died of their…

IT’S A TRAP!

I saw this van being trailered through Houston last November.

Can someone explain to me how this is a bad thing for people who ostensibly hate TBBT?

Don’t worry, guys.  I found a matching thumb donor.  From one Drew to another.

The collective pets of Deadspin (i.e. Wanda, Clyde, Benson, Albert’s 10,000 dogs, Mercy, Detective, Curtis, Carter, Zoey, Hunter, Moo, Katharine Graham, Lilly, etc.)

I’M SORRY JOE

“IT, for constantly unlocking my computer”

“When I was nine years old, I assumed that Pink was a very light-skinned black woman.”

From 2002 people, 2002.

I’m not changing my avatar.

This is really funny and really Brownsy. But I think the best part is that there was a moment where some junior sleuth who interns for the Browns looked at an Instagram post by a Cleveland DJ and exclaimed, “We got you, you son of a b***h!” and then excitedly picked up his phone.