Terrible story aside (and it's definitely pretty terrible), the men I know who work in nursing prefer to just be called a nurse rather than a "male nurse."

Meanwhile in Texas...

Finally blue hair gets its day. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

His first name is Scott. I felt "compelled" to check because I was already having visions of the rabbi guiding the wedding vow exchanges:

So this was an Aramark taste-testing focus group?

I hope training is a wild success. I wanna see lady supersoldiers.

Does this remind anyone else of that time Rose developed some old film to discover a photograph of Blanche with Charlie, Rose's late husband? Only in that case it was a double exposure.

" I have taken doughnuts to the cemetery every day since then."

Hee, this reminds me of Dave Barry's piece about how his emergency backup dog, Zippy, loved eating lizard parts and then horking them up on the rug. Usually during dinner.

You gotta send him to that Ghetto University.

It feels like Sunday to me.

Also, every time I see your user name, I laugh. "Get him, Sheba!"

Literally no where does it say what that is. How could they have googled it? I love LMGTFY but this is not a good use of it.

"They want help"

Hello.

Is this a safe space to hate Princess Bride? Because I've been waiting for one of those for ever so long. Shhh. Don't tell Mr. Krumble. It kills kittens in his brain or something.

Do you think Nicholas Sparks wrote Nicholas Sparks's biography on Wikipedia?

I would pay real money for a version of this movie in which Gena Rowlands' character were replaced by this gif:

Should've closed with "And that, kids, is how Ryan Gosling met your mother."

"Old Guy Reads Out Loud: The Movie."