OOOH OOOH OOOH. Please say it’s Pierce and Garnett. I absolutely adore them.

Sadly, I will never have sex with a famous musician. I decided 20 years ago to hold out for Gavin Rossdale, and now, even if I had the chance, I’d feel bad about doing that to Gwen.

Pardon me if I'm missing something, but based on this doctor's criteria (muscle retention, especially) how is rowing an inferior cardio workout to stationary bike intervals?

These are nuts (yes, with some other things added) that have built-in portion control. Whereas, if I have a bag of almonds, I am eating that bag of almonds.

Fictional show Piper is amazingly way more likable than real-life Piper. At least based on her memoir.

Not that weird. It works for Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Bernie is the man. Vermont is such a nice, reasonable place.

Wrigley can use it for leftover bodily waste.

That is one pissy-looking cat.

Rosa, I want to hang out with you.

A star for your avatar. I love Stitch.

If I saw a manatee while I was swimming, it would be one of the best days of my life.

Liza Lapira could pull it off.

And from the next seat over I’d be rifling through my carry-on looking for my tampon case, “accidentally” spilling them everywhere.

A star for you, and another for A.J. Jacobs, if he was here.

“throwing shade at the weather”

*sigh of relief*

(I’m amazed she’d let her kids eat tortillas, honestly.)

Shell-less tacos sound delicious. I’ll be right over, Gwyneth!

I’m fine with them all staying the fuck home, until they realize the rest of the world owes them nothing beyond basic politeness and courtesy.