At the age of 32 and with some SERIOUS heartbreak behind me: I can’t stand hookups. I can’t stand people gravitating toward each other and running off to smash their genitals together in sordid little trysts. I just hate human sexuality now. Cheating partners have ruined me for life. The thought of sex, and hookups,…

Then you need to be kept back in kindergarten. Call your mum, tell her you’re moving back in. You need to do childhood again.

I think you’ve allowed your brain to be the master of your actions. You should remember that you’re in charge and that fear is not real. I have a fear of heights (really a fear of falling), but I climbed a huge tree the other day to retrieve a ball — I volunteered — because I try to expose myself to heights often,…

Why do women like Astrology? Men have no trouble seeing that it’s completely bunk. Why do women go APE SHIT for Astrology? Aren’t there ANY rational women who follow science? I’m pretty sure even the women scientists are checking their star signs every day.

I think stupid people SHOULD die of cancer. I like feeling superior to the general population, and I also think there has been no-where near enough natural selection in the human species of late.

I go to a Festival where whole families swim naked in the river, use mud baths and body paint, and generally are body natural and body positive.

When I leave those sanctuaries and join society and see how people treat the human body, the thing we all have, and is the thing we are all most intimate with, like it’s some…

To the commenters here on Jezebel: Women have a legal right to be topless in New York City. ANYTHING ELSE YOU SAY IS SEXIST, PATRIACHAL CLAP-TRAP.

I think you’re about ready for the grave, my friend. Then you won’t be burdened by the human condition any longer.

I want to touch my girlfriend all the time. She’s my lover and soulmate. Who the fuck is Helen Mirren to comment on our love?

I just wanna say that she’s only keeping this style for her music performance. She was seen in December like this:

Attention is fine. She wants to be a famous musician. Man, you’re SO confused. Does your brain hurt? LOL.

OK. Well, you’re wrong. But thanks for playing.

“I demand to see more of Deadmau5’s craggy mug!” said no-one ever. People seem to think they have a RIGHT to a woman’s face.

Anyone can see what Sia looks like anytime, it’s all over the internet. It’s just recent years, as she’s transitioning into a unicorn, that she feels the need to cover up.

“Religion is a snare and a racket” - Judge Rutherford

You guys in the US have literally invented foods that don’t exist so you can have more ways of getting sucrose into your bodies. There are entire chains in America that grew out of the imaginary made-up confections that you’ve been taught from a young age to love and think are normal. Your school-age kids come last in…

Nawwww, you guys in America have SO LITTLE going on in your lives! :( It’s really sad how you elevate the importance of things that don’t matter. No wonder everyone there is religious and gun-crazy.

Kids in the future are going to make us pay for giving Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus so much attention. They are cringe-worthy NOW. Imagine what the punishment of pop culture time will bring

Are we going to celebrate Bill Cosby’s birthday next? Michael Jackson was a pedophile and you are immoral for elevating him in this way.

My ex got a bad tattoo like this. I’m like “Why? Now that always has to be there. There’s no taking it off. Your right shoulder and bicep will always look like an ugly, dark image of Heath Ledger as the Dark Knight.” She was convinced it was a totally dope spur-of-the-moment idea. Until she discovered that it scares…