If history has proven anything, it’s that assholes stop being assholes when they achieve success.

“Yeah, but...”

Can’t you just fail her and hold her back another year?

8 million tourism jobs, eh? Well don’t worry, those 80,000 coal jobs probably balance that out.*

Well that does it. He’s a shoo-in now. Republicans will love this shit. Soon, this maneuver will be known as the “beat up a journalist bump,” and it will become a staple of Republican campaigns.

Don’t forget about the Bundesliga. Bayern Munich is the most equal team of all.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

With a sprinkle of BJ Novak

“An asshole is not a brilliant visionary just because a toilet has a bottomless appetite for what comes out of it.”

His agent, Levi Ballenstein.

Well, that was the last straw. Goodbye, cruel world.

It feels like Louise Mensch and her Twitter ilk are starting to sound like religious nuts who try predict the Rapture over and over again. But I want to believe ...

This is the big one! I’m cumming, Elizabeth!

THIS will be what brings him down. A lot of those folks who wanted two scoops are sharpening their knives as we speak.

Heck owns in squash

Too bad H.E. Double-Hockeysticks only goes solo.

Classic ESPN-style move, promoting power conference chalk over the cinderella. I had Boats going all the way, and he made you all look like fools.

Rabbi’nem

The fascinating intersection of religion, technology, and menstrual blood. What a world we live in.

One day, the kids will see the movie and ask, “Did it really happen like that?” And we will shake our heads sadly and explain that, no, it was so much stupider.