Clearly you've never seen a Danica Dillon cumpilation.

It's scary how many thumb-shaped heads are in positions of power.

No, but those QBs don’t dab and dance. Drew Brees rebuilt New Orleans with his bare hands. Tom Brady is making America great again.

When pigs fly, there’s gonna be a reckoning.

“I feel shitty (about the game, not my physical and mental well-being). I hate losing (games, not brain matter or feeling in my extremities).”

They’re probably counting on people losing it 30+ times. I’m actually an iphone owner who’s just shelled out way too much for chargers and adapters and likes to complain about such things.

Replacements for the lightning jack adapter, which you will definitely lose, will cost $300 at the Apple Store, the only place you can buy them.

Now if it had been Glenn Rice ...

We’re going look back at this time in history and say he was far better than we deserved.

Go Texas! Win one for the little guy!

That face is screaming, “What do I do here? Help!”

Stiff arm, stubby fingers.

It would because then he’d be some kind of martyr.

Buying organic

That’s totally fine as long as you remember to compliment the parents.

Very well put.

Give me a fucking break. For most people, the troops are nothing more than a conduit for moral outrage. That's a lot more insulting than refusing to stand up during a song.

I don't get it. Rich white people complain about crime constantly.

Frederick Douglass was a successful author and highly respected. Which raises the question: what the fuck was he complaining about?

I assume that, for most of Bullock’s life, she was his brother. It's fine if that's how he chooses to remember her.