a jack-o’-lantern that at least ten people have been using as a toilet

26 more days folks. That’s fewer days than Cilian Murphy spent in a coma during a zombie invasion. We can do this.

It doesn’t matter, I’m still going to assume Taylor’s next song about dumping the guy who wasn’t good enough for her is about Ben. Excited to hear this lyric:

Protohumans—they’re just like us!

Whoa Rudy, are we going to start holding people accountable for things that happened 15 years ago? I think the statue of limitations for these sort of things is 10 years. Exactly 10 years. Not 11, which would be 2005 when the Access Hollywood video was filmed. Nope. 10 years.

Having read that, I’m going to go take a shower and then hug my kids.

Wasn’t that right about the time she did Sliding Doors? She and I must have the same spirit because that was when I decided to live my best life. And here I am, 20 years later! Commenting on the internet!

Those rooster pics warm my soul. This guy is ok in my bok bok . . . book.

The rest of the teams in the Big 10 needed what everyone who attends Rutgers needed—a safety school.

I bet one of her biggest donors is Mr. Chobani. You’re off the list HamNo.

“Show off” is a nice way of putting it. I would have said “demonstrate to the people you’re trying to impress that you’re a deranged lunatic”.

This is my impression. Also, look at Regan Ramsower’s responsibilities:

He glowered at the screen from his mother’s basement with all the intensity he could muster. “That is a picture of Digimon” he hissed.

I’m glad he finally confirmed my suspicions! I was shocked at first to learn her identity, but after I went back and reread her books, I realized that Elena Ferrante’s writing style was exactly like Ashley Feinberg’s.

He has become quite a colossus in the secondary.

I hope someday I’ll love anything as much as Jennifer Garner loves that damn Capital One credit card.

Let’s see: Briles refuses to admit anything was wrong, the administration refused to admit that assistant coaches were part of the rotten culture by letting them all keep their jobs, Starr continues to believe nothing was wrong, Grobe doesn’t see anything wrong with letting Oakman hang around—this assistant was just…

Good, too many potty words on the internet.

Sorry! But, I hope you are more obedient to your kitty so this doesn’t have to happen again.

Drew, do you give your wife a heads up before publishing something like your (brilliant) GQ article on Trump voters? Something like “It’s unlikely, but there might be some angry people throwing bags of feces at our house over the next few days”?