I love Par as much as the next guy, but I’m a little worried for her. No pale white person needs that much sun.

I say that, but only to gross out my wife. I picked it up from watching too much Monty Python.

+1 -

Don’t forget—Canadians measure distance in meters, not feet.

Well then, how do you make sake?

But Amber Phillips writes for the Washington Post! But your point is well made, and I hope George Will is first one at the table.

Adios peli-gross-o.

What is your favorite movie of the 21st century? They released that new list and I wasn’t too impressed.

A big meaty Dak

+3

Come to me, you sweet luscious booty

I asked you to keep our conversations private. Enjoy growing your unibrow.

Her parents were spambots.

Just like Sweeney Todd!

Just testing out some lines for a new wrestling-based rom-com I’m working on. It’s called Chokehold on my Heart.

Stop fighting! Don’t you two realize what everyone else already knows? You’re in love.

He’s lucky he didn’t get a folding chair to the head.

Because an article that begins with “Lochte cautiously, humbly. . .” does anything would necessarily be retracted

Clearly Lochte treated this bathroom the way Brazil treats its porn stars.

Clearly this is just Occam’s Kinja account trying to spam-promote his Razors.