why are you even on this site

You’re like that class of disneyphile who gets upset at kids... at disneyland, a fucking park dedicated to kids.

You’re an asshole.

No one is more intolerant of a child’s poor behavior in public than their parents. A toddler acting like a toddler for a few moments is far worse for me as a dad than you will ever know.

$20 bucks says you are one of those “VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS PEOPLE” that always walks around in the airport in jeans, a navy blazer, leather braided belt, and shitty loafers screaming into a Blackberry to Brad about the presentation you have in Springfield, Missouri this afternoon and making it seem like a very big…

yeah, no, you’re wrong. If you think the parent of that kid doesn’t know what a terror the child is being, then your head is crammed so far up your ass you can floss with your chest hair. 

These conversations are good, and for the next year, I hope we have them and we all fight like hell on behalf of the candidate we wish to represent the party.

Counterpoint: The Deadcast actually answers the age old question about a tree falling in the forest.

SPOILER:

yep, in our butts

Yo, what if the Infinity Stones were really inside us all along?

Nuclear takes: Ricky Gervais should be pitched into a volcano, and I don’t speak British so I needed subtitles for the original Office, the five minutes of which I made it through sucked.

Black Panther’s dusting at the hands of Thanos was the exact moment everybody knew for an absolute fact that the sequel to Infinity War would definitively undo the entire climax of Infinity War—which drained that climax of basically all its emotional power.

Barry, I honestly enjoy your stuff the most of any writer at Deadspin but I feel relatively confident you haven’t watched these games, and wrote this based on looking at a few highlights and the stat line.

I, for one, love my $1700 one-bedroom.

Native here. I've said it for years, 3/4 of this state is completely worthless. Mostly these shitty rural counties with their cowboy cops.

Yeah, I grew up out there and I remember it as a very conservative state. It amazes me how much has changed in thirty years.

Sorry I’m late.

Colorado resident. A law JUST passed to make it more difficult, and the result - counties declaring they won’t enforce it anyway. “Gun sanctuary counties”

So one mentally disturbed woman buys a shotgun and closes hundreds of schools in the Denver area.