A question for the Funbag: why should I keep reading anything on this website after Jim Spanfeller and Paul Maidment went to the lengths of firing Barry, like cowards, for the dumbest of reasons?

I want to support the writers here—this is both the best website that exists, and has ever existed, and the best sports…

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

All this coverage on Deadspin of the Bears shitting themselves makes me feel like

“A Democrat slut”

Triggered!

I love some of The Boss’s stuff, but “Born To Run” is a garbage song for garbage people.  Way way overrated.

I will be there to carry your corpse down from the mountain with the respect a hero like yourself deserves. 

b-b-b-but they have lyrics about hookers!

Sucking ass gives them too much credit. Some people like sucking ass. Steely Dan sucks shit. Nobody likes that except people with obvious mental disorders.

But despite what Drew says, they aren’t firing Nagy till at least after the 2020 season. in 100 years, the Bears have never fired a coach mid season and the only one they fired after 2 seasons was Trestman. Paddy Driscoll got kicked upstairs after 2 seasons in 1957, but that was because Halas wanted to coach the team…

Chevy wouldn’t still be making trucks today if it wasn’t for Seger.

You won’t die alone though, brother

The weirdo critical reevaluation of Steely Dan is one of the worst things online. They’re terrible. 

BRING IT ON! I WILL DIE ON THE HILL OF STEELY DAN SUCKING SHIT

I’m going to make a movie just like Yesterday where a guy wakes up and suddenly nobody but him remembers Steely Dan, and it will be a documentary about my life.

Alright, let me just say this once so everyone knows the truth: just because something is complex and difficult, doesn’t mean it sounds good. I guess what I’m trying to say is that STEELY DAN SUCKS SHIT

This list is a fucking disaster. Please don’t tell me that your new corporate overlords asked for this list to generate clicks.

Don’t talk crazy. If they had not traded up, the San Francisco may have gotten him and been way more undefeated than they already are.

I am starting to think that maybe the Bears shouldn’t have traded up to draft Trubisky.  I’m going to give him another week or two, but folks, this may end up being a little embarrassing for my favorite teams front office.  Will keep you all updated.