In my experience, present company excluded, most of the people I know who actually live in the city of Chicago are Sox fans. Cubs fans are usually white suburbanites living in the conservative exurbs, and their kids who live in Lincoln Park for 5 years after college before moving back to their exurb. So yeah, they…

I worked for the Wisconsin GOP out of college. I was taken aside and told if I wanted to advance I needed to break up with my girlfriend (Asian) and get a new,  white one. I eventually left, didn’t take their advice and have been married for over a decade to that GF I was supposed to kick to the curb. That’s Wisconsin.

A surprise to no one, as this is a state government filled with people who spent years screaming KUUUUUHN at Packers games

Four whole years. BOO FACKIN HOO

Is this a thing now? Telling people where they are allowed to go to church? Because if people want to start dragging others for going to anti-LGBTQ churches, then maybe start with the Catholics.

I will never, ever understand how Deadspin managed to find a Kings fan, and then, in an even more unlikely twist, hire him to write about sports

“They’re natural enemies, like Steelers fans and Pats fans! Or Jets fans and Pats fans! Or Rams fans and Pats fans! Or Pats fans and other Pats fans! Damn Pats fans, they ruined New England!"

It’s just like the beginning of Good Will Hunting, except none of them are geniuses and it’s entirely their fault. 

“I’m wicked hydrated, thanks to TB12 wat-ah”

Not surprising. Boston fans are known for getting bombed at parades.

That’s cool I cut my hand on my plastic starbucks lid and bled all over my khakis.

Republicanism is like a dozen donuts on a table where a rich guy, a poor white guy, and a poor black guy are sitting. The rich guy comes, takes 11 donuts, then says to the poor white guy “that black guy wants your donut!”

But after years of embarrassment, as an adult, I moved somewhere (New York City), where there were a bunch of other Weiners.

Whatever you just described sounds disgusting.

Everything bores me about the Patriots now. Even the “it sucks the Patriots won” columns are boring. Get them out of my face forever so we can all have something new to bitch about, please. 

I don’t understand the narrative that people doubted this team could win. I don’t think anyone doubted that. I think far more people were resigned to that fact, disgusted by the inevitability, but no one doubted it.

Brady: 3-21, 17 yards, 4 INTs. Rams over Pats 62-6.

this pokemon’s got a weird dick, 8.9 pikachus

Now you’ve gotten the full Ashley experience.

They’re more sympathetic than the Celtics in literally every universe! I checked!