In Communist Sochi, joke tell YOU

I'm not sure about his legal prowess, but I think I want to be in his metal band.....

What kind of mire of insanity would you have to be living in that this Cyril subplot from Archer Season 2 would even occur to you? Dear god, just DTMFA.

Just get yourself a keylogger, brah

This is my favorite Mean Girls parody:

A friend of mine was an NFL cheerleader. She quit to be a dancer in a cage in a casino because the pay was better and the work was less degrading. I wish I were making this up.

Follow-up Q: if the Earth was flat, could it still revolve around Tim Tebow?

He totally could have, at least until that bitch picked Apple Maps.

Does anyone else think Skip Bayless spends his free time doodling how his signature would look as "Skip Tebow"?

Blessed are they who did not see Tebow play, and yet believe.

"If you're pre-born, you're fine, if you're pre-schooled, you're fucked."

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the demolition crew indicated that they decided to deflate the dome on a Saturday because the 35 minute duration was much quicker than the 3.5 hours it typically took to deflate the dome on Sundays.

Yes, this guy speaks Ebonics and yes, it's embarrassing and yes, some White folk will have a field day with this on the "dark side" of the nets to promote what ever messed up agenda they have.

If the person isn't lustfully ogling your privates, who gives a shit?

Oh, you mean how we have been sharing facilities with them for how many years now? Now, if a guys tells you "Nice dick" or "That's a rockin set of balls you have there", thank him for the compliment and continue just like you did 5 years ago.

Statistically speaking there are probably already gay dudes in the locker room, they just don't know they're 'mos. It's a classic example of "what you don't know can't hurt you", and by "can't hurt you" I mean "can't suck your dick".

Repeatedly threatening to move your team until the taxpayer buys you a new playground? Distraction.

He was obviously misquoted from the press conference after Sunday's game: "I'm not Jay. I really like winnin'."

Hell, they've got a whole BINDER full of them!

I wish someone close to Megyn Kelly would pull her aside and just say, "Remember that time last year when Karl Rove kept insisting Romney won the election, and you were the voice of reason? You are acting like Karl Rove, Megyn. You are acting like Karl Rove."