Just wait until someone wants taxpayer money to go towards a Muslim school. Because while they say religious freedom, they MEAN “only for Christians, and the right kind of Christians, LOL!”

It’s already a thing, only with vodka and tampons. You want to get drunk but you don’t want the calories. This just eliminates the tampon. 

The same Kirk Cousins who tried to trademark “You Vike that?” Yeah, who could have forseen that going south. 

And to add insult to injury, Bridgewater is actually doing OK in New Orleans. 

Hot damn, I hope you’re right. I do seem to recall a lot of boo hooing when they were outed in Charlottesville and a lot of other places. They love to talk a big talk until there’s like, actual consequences involved. 

This whole “deep state” thing is such utter bullshit. Fuckers, you have the reigns of government. If you think someone is out to get you, is spying on you, or whatever, you don’t continue doing shit the way you’ve been doing it, which is with some of the most incompetent failsons/faildaughters of the wealthy and…

Yeah, as a parent, I sure was disappointed to be able to tell my kids, “the President wears his bike helmet, so you have to too!”

What, they’re gonna stop? The MAGAt response to all this is that “the whistleblower wasn’t even in the room.” Dude, you can know shit is wrong and not have been privy to the conversation in question. Especially because so many people in Trump’s universe hold only one qualification for their job: sucking up to Trump,…

AND a bike helmet. Because nothing is manlier than TBI and irreversible spinal injuries. 

About wedding gifts: I just moved houses, and we got married about 15 years ago. We found shit that we registered for as wedding presents, got, and then promptly didn’t use for 15 years. There’s assholes out there who are all “but we paid for your dinner, you owe us a present.” If the destination fucks are these kind…

I’m 100% certain that’s what she’s gonna say, probably along with some stuff about Hillary. 

Yeah, apparently there’s about 30-40% of the population that, while they CLAIM they are patriots and love the freedoms in the United States, what they REALLY want is an authoritarian dictatorship. Badly. 

I’ve heard it said that when the U.S. sneezes, Britain gets a cold. We’re far more linked than we’d like to believe. They Brexited when we elected Trump. One can only hope that Boris’ faceplant will herald the end of this bullshit over here. 

I’ve never believed his making sexual comments about his daughter was actual sexual attraction. No, it’s always been about ownership, and reminding Ivanka of her place, which is secondary to her father’s at all times, and the sole purpose of her existence is to make him happy. Ivanka knows that her job right now is to…

He thinks he’s innocent because in his mind, he never said “investigate Biden’s son or you’re not getting aid.” This is pretty on brand with Trump; he’s never explicit in what he says, but the people around him know exactly what he means. Then they get to go and do the dirty work for him. So if Guiliani or Barr end up…

I mean, Seth fuck Rich still comes up, so yeah, checks out. 

Gee, we haven’t heard this shit since like, the last hundred times people from another culture came here. Rewind about 100-120 years and you’re gonna hear people talking about how the Irish, Italians, Scottish, Germans, and whoever else wasn’t WASPy enough were going to “change the fabric of this country” and replace…

That Dan Dakich tweet, I mean, the stupid. I’m an RN, I work a very physically and emotionally demanding job, and even I know that being a professional football player is a whole ‘nother thing. Yeah, my job is demanding, but I haven’t been doing it, and only it, to the exclusion and detriment of all other activities…

So it’s literally knock off Tommy Hilfiger meets Fabletics? I bet they’ll have a “VIP” program that’s super easy to sign up for and almost impossible to cancel too. 

Yeah, because his promises are worth a whole lot. Keep at it, buddy. Let’s keep ya talking about buying Greenland, when we could, ya know, invest in islands we already have, like, I dunno, Puerto Rico?