May Drew get a Deadspin reading nurse. Also, I expect his first bowel movement post narcotics/operative procedures to be featured in Great Moments in Poop History. 

And don’t we have like pretty high support for Dreamers, and not a lot of support for the wall? Why are we not getting that messaging out? If there’s a shut down, say “well, we didn’t want to spend money on stupid bullshit, and the GOP does.”

Steve Miller? That Huckabee brother? 

I don’t care who did it when. Any person who has a basic sense of fairness knows that this kind of thing is bullshit. Other governments, Australia, for example, have caretaker clauses in their laws. And maybe the Dems did it a long time ago, but the people that are pulling this kind of shit now are Republicans, and…

Or my favorite trick, posting the schedule and then making changes to it after you’ve already seen it. I work in nursing, I’m more than aware that sometimes things have to change because of maternity leaves, vacations, sick days, whatever. But you bet your ass I take a screen shot of my schedule in case there’s ever…

I work in a hospital, and we have a text system that sends out a text to everyone if there’s a shortage. If a hospital, where staffing levels are critical to patient safety can make it work, so can the department store. 

Well, they probably figure they’re saving money by having that person not show and just having people work the shift short. Reminds me of an assisted living I worked at where we pretty much got in trouble for replacing someone who had called in. They admonished us for solving the problem of working short because they…

Or how they think they’re superior to ANYONE. All they have is that they’re white, and they’re pissed that they didn’t get ALL of the spoils of white privilege. 

The thing I’m most thankful for in the Trumpiverse is that they’re all so wildly incompetent that they’re found out immediately. We should be thanking our lucky stars they’re so stupid, otherwise they might have gotten away with it. 

Waiting for the few hours of “liberal plant” to flourish on Twitter. 

she got a free cheese plate. She can’t FINISH a meal, and that’s obviously a huge tragedy. 

Agreed. He still trots out every now and again to praise his father’s policies, but for the most part, you haven’t heard from him. He’s going to be able to go on with his life because he didn’t have much to do with politics other than having a shitty opinion, and Mueller can’t indict him for being wrong. He, Tiffany…

Yeah, she needs to turn around and give hers back to the Indians. I mean, all those foreigners taking your land? I can barely imagine.

Psst... please. He’s scared shitless of Michelle Obama. As he should be. Not that she’d hurt him, but she’d definitely give him a look that would kill him instantly.

My tuxedo cat was probably a drunk in a past life whose entire life goal is to sleep on things and get petted. This clearly makes me leadership material. 

Yeah, they had all that time to do WASPy things because they were systematically underpaying brown people to do work for them, off the books so no taxes. I pay over $40/ hr to have my house cleaned, and people pay through the nose for child care today.

As a former band geek, yes, let the kids sing their carols, and then MOCK THE EVERLOVING SHIT out of Walker. 

My cousin’s husband is amongst those who might be spending his holidays elsewhere. He tends to be more conservative. He mentioned that he might be going to the border and I said “so you’re gonna get deployed to watch Netflix?” His response: “pretty much.” He knows this is a dog and pony show, and he and my cousin are…

Jesus Christ, my cat is Donald Trump. It makes so much sense now. 

No shit, I mean, W looks like he’s barely holding it together (understandably) and Dole looked pretty distraught. Then you’ve got Trump all “ooohhh... a PAGEANT!”