Did you read the part about alcohol?

Ambien haircut here. Tried to cut the cowlick smooth off. Do not attempt!

Boom! Your Grandma invented the mic drop!

You just reminded me...I am THAT mom, too! There was a massive warehouse fire in Savannah, and I text-blitzed my daughter. "Oh, my god! Can you breathe? Do you have classes near there?!" She took this pic.

You should write a guide to getting "storm drunk." Is there a strategy? Did you prepare? If the storm rages for several days, do you do anything differently on day 3, or employ different methods for loss of power, etc.? Storm drunk is the best kind of drunk, because you are stuck! :)

text from this morning:

*beer

We received this newspaper clipping from my mother-in-law, recently. "TAKE A JACKET!"

I bet even Angie Harmon, Jr. there felt skeevy posing with a kid. Ewwwwww!

A high school classmate took his 8-year-old son to Twin Peaks last week for "the kid's birthday." SERIOUSLY. I covered the boy's face.

As the mom of a 21-year-old and 16-year-old (not some imaginary "future children") I think we have a mutual understanding not to embarrass each other. ;) Talking about health, in all aspects, is not shaming anyone. But I swear to gawd, if I accidentally see pics of any degree of nakedness, there will be a reckoning! I…

FUCK THAT! Everybody complains about it, and yet, they continue on and propagate this bullshit! I suggest carrying a purse bigger than a lipstick, to carry snacks. (at least the size of a Pringles™ can!)

Hello, Daddy Hemsworth!

yesssssssssssss!

I'll see your Keaton kid, and raise by an Eastwood.

Oh, youngster! :P

I wrote to H. Jackson Browne in my early 20s while going through a horrible divorce and custody battle. I asked his advice and he wrote a length, heartfelt response full of hopeful advice! Now I want to write him again and thank him. :)

Not enough butterflies! The paper probably had kittens or ponies on it, and she was pissed because if you were a true fan, you would've known that. (that crazy bitch) 4th grade?! Excuse me while I take my Geritol.

Kanye probably thinks he can buy all the copies so a new generation will not see it. @@