The gun has the Second Amendment engraved on the receiver, because civilians slaughtering each other wholesale every few weeks with weapons of war is surely what the founding fathers had in mind.

His twitter feed is one of the few things I ever literally ‘LOL’ at on the internet. Pretty much ever day.

Anyone want to take the over-underarm she lasers?

And the Dalai Lama gave a speech, today, in Sacramento.

Gah. I hope she’s all right and it was just a one-off bad reaction to the combo of wine and pills. How scary for the kid too, damn.

Right?

Holy shit! That was impressive.

It gets worse, fangirl. He can sing, too!

Ugh, I love Rob Delaney. His angry tweets about Trump are gooooollld. Also, Catastrophe. And his book was heartbreakingly funny. I just fell into a fangirl pit.

olivia wilde ✔@oliviawildeI just bought sweatpants online. Just TRY and out-lazy me.

I just won’t call anymore. I won’t do it. Fuck it. I don’t care how good the food is. Not if it means talking to someone on the phone. I don’t even like talking to people I like on the phone.

Calling people is the worst. I had this conversation with my gf a few nights ago.

Re: David Spade, this is me walking out of my office into the parking lot just now:

Bad Photoshopping is the pits.

The other day I got a mosquito bite that I was positive was the Zika one. dandilyn wanted to know why I was so sure so I showed him the teeny weeny “Z” right dead smack in the middle.

At first I was all, “Meh, who gives a shit if they want to come here and eat our tree frogs?” But then I remembered that frogs eat mosquitoes and mosquitoes suck our blood and carry icky diseases and I realized they are trying to kill us all indirectly!

Photoshop has a brush that blends together pixels under and near where you’re clicking. Looks like that to me.

She’s a human woman Aimee! With armpits. It’s the lighting probably! She isn’t an alien that looks similar to you, sorry US humans with subtle differences like a lack of armpits or salivary glands who mostly eats tree frogs for sustenance. What? That would be INSANE. Let’s talk about how completely normal her speech…