I wasn’t reading Lifehacker. I was reading io9 and this article was trending on Kinja. I clicked it out of curiosity. Probably shouldn’t have. But I’m kind of glad I did.

And lastly. This isn’t what Lifehacker is. In fact, I’m pretty disappointed that they put something like this up.

Yup, definitely just like CrossFit.

I think it’s safe to assume that by “a novel” he meant an Expanded Universe book...

Who publishes a chart without a legend? This article makes me want to throw io9 off a cliff!

They’re preparing to invade Texas?

I want this to be so big that Disney will lock JJ Abrams down for the rest of his life and keep him the fuck away from Star Trek.

What a confusing and exciting time.

Loch Ness is a dinosaur who escaped extinction!

The Spetsnaz Hate Him!

For what it’s worth, these douchebros made a sign that sounds like they want to call the father’s “Daddy,” not that they want the daughters to call them Daddy.

Tacos are solid, but soft-shell corn tortillas can fuck right off. They are the aspartame of food.

Genuine Enthuso-madness in it’s rawest form. Godspeed, Raphael! Get well sooooooon!!!

Ban all guns. Make them illegal to posses. Getting caught with one is an automatic jail sentence. This nonsense has gone on for too long. This amendment was authored by people who were okay with slavery. It does not, and should not, translate to 2015 America

I knew I'd find someone smarter than Stephen Hawking on Gizmodo.

Orlando... you will never see a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Great novel. Would read again.

Someone had to.

I have a neuro-linguistic programming Groupon.

When my wife gave birth, the monitor on the machine for her epidural would periodically play the first four notes of Lavender Town's theme. Talk about things you don't want to think about while you're waiting for your child to be born.