I am sorry I became the big bad Pissboy. I am now the Swimmin’ Prince and the big bad Pissboy for I have brought my body’s water onto the land in a shameful way. In the water land where I live, one must only smile and relax and allow the piss to flow from within. We live in the piss pools and we die in the piss pools.…

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

I have a four year old nephew named Michael who is a picky eater, and I love nothing more than saying to him, “You’re eating maggots, Michael, how do they taste?”

Both ain't got shit on Sunset Sarsparilla.

This version’s better.

This tense in the comment is was wrong.

Iowa is a state.

My name’s Rod, and I like to party

‘I have to go. But if I find one single dog hair in the Bat-cave when I get back, I’ll rub...sand...in your dead little eyes.’

While they’re at it they hope they’ll also pick up the incoming black-and-white version, Watchmen Noir (itself $40), too. What’s next? I imagine Watchmen 3D will be available for purchase by 2019.

Ben Affleck: “Yeah, Zack Snyder really wanted me to understand Bruce Wayne on a personal level. So one day, I walk onto set and... this was really funny... he had invited my parents down to do a set visit. They toured the set a little bit, met with the rest of the cast, and Snyder showed them some of the dailies that…

That will trigger a special election on Nov. 8, where Arlington residents will go to the polls and decide whether to give the Rangers $800 million for an unnecessary stadium.

Would it be a Cardinal sin to give him a Viking funeral?

If Darren Rovell’s Tweet were a turd, it would be the dumbest shit ever.

TSA would never allow it, considering the number of movies that bomb at the box office anymore.

I’ll see myself out.

I constantly wash my hands when handling raw chicken (and just in general) but I’m still paranoid that some raw chicken juice somehow got on the handle so it gets washed.

Well the knife handle may not have come into contact with the raw chicken but your hands did and then gripped the knife. Just hold it with a couple fingers, moving around a few different times to get all parts of the handle and wash that shit.

I can commiserate. I mean, when I entered my first job I didn’t even know what being a pinata entailed.

And yet, that class action suit still has fewer members than the nWo.