Shipwreck's Parrot

I’ve read the appeal cover to cover. Brady is of course a slick, dynamic protagonist, who’s resourceful and practical in a pinch, but I can’t help but think that he’s a little shallow. I mean, when I broke up with my girlfriend Sally this summer I didn’t throw my phone away or anything, I just deleted her contact. Read more

That wasn't the only thing with two hands and no feet lifted by the cops that day. Read more

Is anyone really surprised by this? We all know Bendtner's got a checkered past. Read more

I wouldn't expect a suspension. It was only his first yellow car. Read more

Tom, I'm afraid you've been hoodwinked: this is viral marketing for Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita. Read more

Referee: "Because of these unusual circumstances, the match will be struck." Read more

Clearly the iguana was not in a state to eat. Read more

A bucket was placed at his feet. Read more

I thought Jared already lost 175 pounds of redundant weight... Read more

6) How many bats do you own? 2 Read more

I honestly don't see the problem here. You don't deserve to play if you can't handle softball questions. Read more

I think we've learned by now that you don't have to be all there to make big decisions in Toronto. Read more

See what you guys did? You guys made Torii Hunter feel so bad about his homophobic comments, he's gone way down the slippery slope. Read more

I have to be honest, it's a little tough for me to feel bad about the guy potentially losing millions when he's got that giant cracker fortune to fall back on. Read more

Such bullshit. And nearly identical to a problem I'm having at my job, where I maintain that I'm the Assistant Manager, but the grumpy old boss insists that I'm actually someone he's never seen before, and security insists that I leave the premises of Sam's Club immediately. Read more

Strange, because the funniest Greek prank is being hit in the face with a π. Read more

The St. Paul Tribune reported the coach was popped by pop; the Atlanta Journal-Constitution claimed he was conked by Coke; the Melbourne Herald Sun declared he was socked with a soft drink; and the New York Post said he was assaulted by a dark-skinned youth wielding a knife. Read more

Rival station KBNR has no such restriction. Read more

To narrow it down, if someone's gradually encroaching on Blackhawk's possessions we can be pretty sure it's a white man from the Capital. Read more

Drew Carey: Like Head to Toe! Read more