[Fires up actual SNES]

"These sweatbands financed a new car."
-The guy from Korn

Just let me finish these cars. I have Cadillacs, Lincolns too. Mercuries and Subarus. Then I have a few bars (where the people meet face to face and cheek to cheek).

It's called a Keytar.

Bourbon, the brownest of the brown liquors. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial!

"Don't be sho ashinine."
- Sean Connery

My witty "Making my Dreams Come True" comment was on the deleted one. Today sucks.

I've been hoping for this. The AV Club's been making my dreams come true.

Since when is Tom Cruise straight?

I like giving I Went to College, and It Was Okay by Scott Dikkers.

Any movie with Seann William Scott is a pretty safe bet.

It isn't like he was shipwrecked there. He got himself there on purpose. I'm sure his X-wing is stashed away somewhere.

Jessica is an artist. This movie is the Art of the Biel.

We're cleverly quoting the prequels now?

Scorpion stings aren't funny, but this is fucking hilarious.

Eric Trump?

Excuse me, but I'm 44 years old, thank you very much.

It was no "Chewie, we're home", but still good.

Man, I'm so sick of all these Star Wars.

That's what I said when I saw the trailer for Schindler's List.