Even Ricky Rubio is frantically trying to warn Cole and Whiteside about how dumb this is.

(Dolphins fan, so I don't have a stake in this debate unless I was going to irrationally argue for Marino, which I'm not.)

Or you could multitask.

Screw 1984 or The Hunger Games; this is a real vision of a dystopian hellscape.

If only there were a way to separate Sunday afternoon and Sunday night stats on that chart...

I really have to wonder if these moves are actually growing the profile of MLS outside of the "mid-30s former European star" demographic. Most fans who would care about seeing players like Casillas, Gerrard, Kaka, etc. were able to see them in their primes on TV.

To recap: a fire alarm is a loud, piercing, blaring sound. Crack reporting, Jeff!