I only sing Journey just to mess with them.

They also didn’t cultivate a sense of humor! My parents didn’t cultivate fear either but I get all these jokes because I guess I don’t have a stick up my ass.

You have not experienced cultural dissonance until you have a group of black people on your FB feed reminiscing about peach tree switchins while all your Canadian and/or lesbian nonviolent anti-spanking friends try to figure out whether to argue or back away slowly.

And yet he had a lot to say about Anthony Weiner. Hypocrite.

Ill wait for it to come out on 8 Track.

Really ANY group of people.

They love to say “He/she/it won’t bite” as the dog is gritting it’s death and growling.

not gonna lie, when I see a Crown-Vic my heart flutters out of fear.

I’m simply not playing with stray dogs. I don’t play with dogs with their owners either. They love to say “He/she/it won’t bite” as the dog is gritting it’s death and growling. I may or may not have threatened to hit my neighbor with HER own dog if the dog bucked up at me one more time.

Funny, because all I asked for my birthday was to shove Paul Ryan in a desk drawer, only to be taken out for daily beatings. Such a small world!

Ivanka means “Meeting Crasher” in Czech.

I’d respect her more if she dropped by all the time because she was high.

Cher don’t play!!

Don’t let those furry bastards fool you, Amanda. They come in, all cute and fluffy, but they don’t effing leave. A year later they’ve chewed every cable you own, broken all your flower pots, permanently scarred your flesh, and terrorized your previous pets into alcoholism.

Then she gets a demerit for misusing “myriad”.

She continues to violate the primary rule of trophy spouse by continuing to talk. There is no scenario where any sound that comes out of her mouth will improve the situation.

Eh, I’d be a little more inclined to believe her if this wasn’t her second go-round. Her apology tour after her made-up and chock-full-of-implicit-racism White Savior Goes to Zambia and Imagines a War book was similar (if I remember correctly) in that she actually did apologize and not make awful non-apology “sorry if…

Guys, Louise Linton is sorry. Come on. We all make mistakes. Who among us hasn’t hashtagged outrageously expensive and inaccessible-to-99%-of-Americans clothing while stepping off a government plane that we maybe illegally borrowed so we could see an eclipse from the roof of Fort Knox, then told someone who offered…

This woman has a set of Balls & Galas on her to expect us to accept this bullshit Mea Culpa.

But but but if he did his job like he was supposed to and not violate the fourth amendment then how on earth is he supposed to look like the cop with the most power and biggest penis in front of all the other cops!?! Did you even think about how important his ego is to him Stig? I bet you didn’t.