Then I got hammered the next day and forgot to put it away. Ice Cream cakes are bad.
Spicoli
fattyfatty2xfo
Either way I’m sure there will be a giant dildo there...
Shit.
I’ve gotten so confused about where it’s permissible to pee. I keep urinating on Greg Abbott’s lawn, but judging by his reaction that’s not what he wanted. I only hope he’s not upset when he finds out where I’ve taken a shit.
You first Greg
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has walked back a statement he made earlier in the week about passing a law that would…
This guy doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
The Woodlands is what America would look like if the Germans won WWII
I’ve nearly had a heart attack trying to maneuver a pair of overly bright headlights out of my side mirror.
Houston does not include the Woodlands. Most people here refer to it as “South Dallas.”
It won’t matter. HE’LL know what she’s talking about, and that will be enough to get him to say something dumb.
“Oh, goddamnit. Now everyone is going to think I’m a Colts fan.” -Rex Ryan
lol ok - how does Brazil not look bad here?
Actually, you are not even supposed to make your bed at all.
It’s good though if you just tell them “I’ve already read it, so just whenever you get a chance to read it. No rush.”
unless you take your battle to the supreme court
“See, if they crop the photo, you can’t tell they’re short sleeves!” Yes, we can, Ted. Yes, we can.
It’s actually pretty impressive that he has the time to write hot takes AND be every science teacher I ever had.