See, I get responses from my boss like this fairly often, but it doesn’t make him an asshole. At the end of the day, his time is both literally and figuratively more valuable than mine. He’s constantly traveling the country visiting our different offices, (which involves a lot of time apart from his family) and those…

As a lady who writes a damn long email herself, I realize the long email is more about serving my needs than necessarily the needs of the reader. I write long emails because I do a thousand things a day and have to have records of the advice I give years later. The long email helps me put in everything that’s relevant…

They’re just cramming their liberal agenda in our face and down our throats and making us swallow all the gay rights. It’s all I can imagine.

What must I think of you (if I think of you at all...?)

“I was on an undercover mission to save sex slaves” sounds like a terrible excuse you make up when your wife finds out you were in Thailand without her knowledge. Just sayin.

I do suppose chasing down and devouring delicious volcanic ocean vent starfish is hard work.

How do you get BACK from a BBQ or vineyard WITH a car?

a-fucking-men!!!