I believe the headline is what those in the business call a “slam dunk”.

I hate the headline chosen for this, because it made me think I could actually invite the Muppets to my wedding. Fuck you.

OK, when I was asked to provide a story about deplaning etiquette, I was not expecting to be put ON BLAST. WOW JOSH.

That was the perfect makeup and hair choice for Dennis. Not cartoonishly hideous, just sort of sickly and wasted. 

How can a property that “doesn’t exist” have a communal Turkish bath and an elevator?

A distant second to Lane Kiffin getting axed on the tarmac and left to find his own ride home.

It’s only in there because Garner played the original Maverick. It’s a nod to the fans of the original series who are mostly dead now but were very much alive back then.

This episode was painfully awful and a perfect example of why this once brilliant show has bad episodes so frequently now. They don’t respect the audiences intelligence. Now, the characters say their intent out loud and you get who and what they are aiming the jokes at. There’s no subtly. I have no idea how they…

I hereby propose that we start an Internet Rumor that Dan Snyder is courting Dabo Swinney. There’s no downside. Either:

You can acknowledge, rightly, that listing it as a line-item instead of just integrating it into the food prices is a nasty way for restaurant owners to turn their customers against their own employees.

I want to see his fucking tip.

PDX is great. Its the easiest airport I’ve ever used and I don’t think I’ve ever waited more than 10 minutes in a security line. There’s plenty of good restaurants and the airport is fairly “open” so its easy to find a place to settle if you need to wait a long time for a flight

prank phone calls are a relic from an era where you might not have your address traced and someone break in and shoot your dad. What I’m trying to say is, maybe just nostalgic folks, yearning for a simpler time. But yeah I bet it sucks hard.

There is a second googly, and he is absolutely shocked that Antonio Brown was released.

You can’t be telling the truth because I went to Sandals Cancun and it was sooooooooooooo nice!

No, no it hasn’t:

In their defense, it’s a dumb idea with him, too.

This is actual footage of Santa answering my 1988 call to 1-900-909-4300 ($2.00 for the first minute, $0.45 each additional minute). I asked for the NES but Santa got me a Sega Master System instead.

Having all my family pass away sure has made life easier!

Good one. Nothing beats “orientated” Why add a random -at to a perfectly good word.