I remember someone explaining to me when I was quite young that dogs and cats don't go to heaven; it's only for people. That was the exact moment when I decided organized religion is not for me. Anyone with any brains can see that dogs are better people than people will ever be.

No. I'm hearing and speaking impaired. I've been involved in the community for most of my life. These people are assholes for complaining.

The quote is bullshit. The word "dumb" is Germanic, means silent and is centuries after Aristotle.

I thought "dumb" in this context was an archaic term for "mute," not "stupid." I think you should treat it the way you would treat someone saying "Oriental" or "colored": politely correct them and assume that the mistake was made out of ignorance, not malice, unless you have a good reason to believe differently.

Apparently when the zombie apocalypse hits, most female Disney characters will immediately bare their midriffs.

Well, he was one of the many producers on Beyonce's "Drunk in Love", which is one of the biggest steaming piles of crap I've heard in a long time.

Thanks for being the very dude I was posting about in the first place.

That's fucking retarded. Homophobes and prudish parents will care there's a dong on the screen. Other guys will say "oh, there's a dong." Women will eat that shit up, and given that women make up half of the population, there's a pretty large demographic to tap into.

On a show where female nudity is the norm, I also want to see dicks. And I want to see the ratio of dicks attached to hot guys vs those attached to not hot guys to be equivalent to the nudity of hot women vs the nudity of not hot women.

I get into the most pointless arguments with dudes about wanting to see male genitalia in media. Yes I do want to see it. Yes many women do. No, do not tell me I'm wrong about this, because in fact you are wrong. No, I don't care if you think penis != bewbs and merkin-masked pudenda. I'm not here to be fair and make…

Oatmeal Creme Pies are an individually wrapped packet of childhood happiness. I hadn't seen my Southern mother for almost three years and she couldn't pick me up at the airport when I returned to the US. She sent my sister to meet me in her place with her regrets. When we got to Sisterdarling's house there was a box…

"ALL Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS ARE DRUNK!"

I still chuckle over the subtle nuance of difference between y'all and all y'all.

Nobody tops the South for colloquialisms. I had major issues living there, but the goofy expressions were not among them. I still use "y'all" and "that dog'll hunt," the latter of which might be my favorite expression. "Well cut off my legs and call me shorty!" is another one that's just so GLORIOUSLY absurd.

One of the few things I liked about my two years living in the South: finding out that "bless your heart" was essentially code for "fuck you, you idiot." Not even kidding — I fucking LOVE that.

yes. The fact that nutty bars are 17 renders this whole list invalid. This is the opinion of a person who doesn't know a good thing when they've got it.

Agreed. That is some kind of sacrilege right there. Also, people who don't like marshmallows should not be allowed to rank snack cakes.

Little Debbie makes Drake's now (where I live in Chattanooga. holla!) . my apologies.

Nothing seasonal!? But what about these sweet, sweet babies? #1 in my heart forever.

Also, relevant google image search result.