you have some extraordinarily mobile goalposts

I hope you don't miss the target as badly as you miss the point.

Yea, I'm sure these super risk-averse spree shooters who usually commit suicide at the end are just quivering in fear of getting shot.

iPhones, on the other hand, are all made in Narnia.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure shooting someone for stealing your iPad is just plain old murder.

Alternatively, don't kill people who steal your iPad mini if you don't want to pay with your life. In jail.

I think you forgot a "le" or ten

Whatever, dude. Prehistoric nomads were doing just fine until Monsanto came along and switched their diet to 100% GMO cancer-corn.

Everyone knows cavemen ate big dinners and slept until noon until those shady cereal companies ruined everything. Wake up, sheeple.

They should charge $1 per message and give $0.50 of it to the recipient. Backlash-free spam.

Right. They know you'll pay more for delivery because of the convenience.

Let's see, I should tip the concierge $20 (thanks, National Concierge Association) but nothing for my tattoo artist? Sounds like someone needs to start a National Tattoo Artists Association.

Let them what?

They pay drivers wages and usually a few cents per delivery for mileage, so it does cost them a little more to deliver than to carryout. Mostly you're just paying extra for convenience, though.

I'm going to start adding a "Tip" box to the bottom of my timesheet and see what happens.

2,000 people died on 9/11, though, so it's justified.

and in 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, and 2004

I've used Alt+Space for Launchy so long that I forgot about that one. Nice.

You're judging Arian Foster for spending 1% of his salary on Christmas gifts for his co-workers?

There's something sad and hysterical about hearing "there are ways to govern other than by keeping people perpetually afraid" from someone who's bought into China fearmongering hook line and sinker. China owns less than 8 percent of our debt. Not quite a wholly owned subsidiary, huh. Let me guess, you've bought…