Oh...that angers the Great Mighty Poo.

One time when I was a teen I got high with one of my friends and we followed around this woman because we thought she was a witch because she was carrying a staff and dressed in a black trench coat with black makeup and wearing a weird hat but then I went up to her and asked her if she was a witch and she told me she…

I grew up in Oshkosh, WI and now live in the Chicago area - I can honestly say that Oshkosh has 7 grocery stores (2 Pick N Saves, 1 Festival Foods, 1 Piggly Wiggly, 1 Aldi, plus a Target & Walmart) and approximately 150 places to get a drink. What do you do in Oshkosh if you don't drink? Nothing. This map MAKES SENSE.

Are you talking to me, dum-dum? Because I explicitly said to use the phrase "I would like a double" as a way to indicate you were asking for more and offering to pay for more.

The lovely romance of a machine. The beauty of mechanics. The inherent poetry that is people with hands moving numbers into squares. The tangible joy of little children seeing green and white squares being moved around. The delight one feels when knowing people lift with their legs and shift wood into spots.

Your nihilism is even more boring than baseball, to be honest.

Only the most rabid fans turn out for spring-training workouts.

Pictured: The KGB-Sharps

On the plus side, Andy Reid has finally found a snow cone big enough to sate his appetite.

They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.

Tiny Tim needs to get the fuck over it already.

McDonald's would have sold more, but every time Flacco went in to get a six piece, he stalled out and settled for three.

Not the first time a Jackson has run over a Redskin.

Little ditty about Hud and Speck
Two American Kids growing up in the heartland
Huddy gonna be a football star
Speck expert at putting bodies in the trunk of Huddy's car

My team favorites go as the following:

You are correct about Hrabosky. He is the embodiment of every hacky ex-player-turned-TV-guy. I think he may also be kind of stupid. In fact the whole Cards broadcasting crew are either ex-Cards players or St. Louis natives. It reflects the general STL vibe of being provincial and slightly inbred. But I must exempt…