If Lou Reed can rhyme "Lost her head" with "giving head" then there ARE NO RULES MAAAAN!

I only speak to my mother in old Doors lyrics.

Ha! Like they'll still be married in September. That's like a billion years in Kardashian Marriage Time.

Ozzy has a new album coming out?! Oh, Kanye. Understandable mistake, I'm sure.

I can't imagine a sad little indie songsmith like Oberst has anything like a "gold mine' to be looted. Hell, I'd be surprised if he didn't have a day job.

Conor Oberst: Find Out Why Wedding Planners HATE This Man!

Worked for me.

He is, but now he's donating it all to the "Free Polanski Foundation"

Accusing Conor Oberst of rape is easy, lucky & free!

Are we talking 'Type D' black people or the good kind?

Vancouver: LA, without the wildfires and Hispanics.

Harold Ramis is back!?!

That's just it. People think that being an "artist" involves drinking wine with naked models and occasionally creating something sellable to keep the lights on. But it's FUCKING HARD WORK. A straight 9 to 5 job with good pay and a decent health plan is the way to go if you're lazy.

Short visit, sad to say. I'm currently serving a life sentence at my desk for being super awesome at my job.

I tried (briefly, for a couple of years) to make it as a visual artist but the amount of networking and self promotion that are absolutely vital if you ever intend to earn a living through one's own creativity were just brutal. Thank God I have a talent for programming because churning out computer code as a cubical…

I'm nearly 49. My cock wrinkles are so pronounced you can read them through industrial grade corduroy. (alas, I'm still straight, however).

Skirts are for crossdressers. Gay men wear brightly colored unitards, leather chaps, elaborate mustaches… you know, stuff like that.

Face Tattoos: for when you want to vastly limit your economic potential but don't have time for a felony conviction.

He got a special knighthood for saying 'cunt' so much n Sexy Beast… "The order of the Merkin", I believe it's called.

What's the purpose of the Grand Visier? Is it where you hide the keys when you run into the pyramid supply place for some spare anhks?