Until and unless someone’s arm literally detaches during the throw, 50 Cent’s first pitch to Mars via the Queensboro Bridge will forever be the worst.

Before you go too far to protect them, you may want to peep the political tweets/follows/likes of the 2nd-in-charge guy over there (in regard to day-to-day operations).

obligatory gif incoming...

Ahhh Fresno, California’s Alabama 

Never forget that Trump and Andrew Johnson are two of our most recent Presidents without pets. They’re also our worst.

Only in america can someone denouncing the KKK and Trump’s reluctance to repudiate hate groups as “being the enemy of freedom”.

How the hell does a politically charged video mention “enemies of freedom” and not put Reagan in THAT part of the montage.

The responses to the apology tweet are fucking awful. “HURRR DUUURRRRR IT WAS CORRECT WHY APOLOGIZE”. Reinforces my happiness at not being on Twitter.

I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs.  Also, I don’t trust people that dogs don’t like.

SEE ALSO: Dude

Agreed. Being a very good boy is a state of being that transcends the surly bonds of gender, as well as the shallow confines of English pronouns and naming conventions.

America today is at odds with people who love our big wet white supremacist president and people who don’t particularly care for white supremacy or said big wet president.

Despite the fact that she is *technically* a girl, she is, indisputably, a very good boy.

...Wait, is that what Rob Zombie was talking about?

But when it reached the part of the speech where Reagan addressed “the enemies of freedom,” the following images were shown: A protester in a beanie with an anti-fascist slogan

Not a real dog.

I respectfully disagree. All dogs are awesome because they are not people.

Seen around the web:

I know this is entirely the wrong takeaway here but who the hell self censors the word “crap”? Why not use a word you are comfortable using in its entirety like “poppycock”?