Hey, look, another billion-dollar Bay company making a showy display of how you get to go home early.

in Soviet Russia, kick bicycles you

His teammates legs are blocking my view. I can’t even see the banana peel.

That’s the best Cam Dicker Texas has seen since Sean Elliot.

Went to the golf course with two fully functioning eyes.  Ended up with a hole in one.

This is the first time I’ll ever win a game of “Clue”, so here goes:

The Butler, in the tunnel, with the SICK BURN.

Ed Orgeron, postgame

You can’t “steal” a QBing job. You win it through hard work. It’s not like it’s a crab leg.

“I don’t want to get into all that.”

Jerry Jones: I assure you, this isn’t just about football. We’re gonna do everything we can to help Josh battle addiction.

Too soon.

Thundetbolts & Lightning

“You’re goddamn right.”
-D.J. Durkin

cue all the MAGA chuds buying Jordans and shoving them down the garbage disposal 

I was kinda hoping the first person to respond wouldn’t. :(

Irony: labeling a twitter video of Lane Kiffin “Earned not given.”

I stand by my previous allegations.

You’d think a team from Lamigo would be friendlier. 

They robbed me, but the police caught them standing in the doorway waiting for the story to finish.  

Well, add a new leaf to his turnover total