All I can say is thank Christ the NCAA kept Central Florida’s kicker off of Youtube. Somebody think of the children (of the hookers impregnated by Louisville players).

Easy, man. Those crabs didn’t ask to be shoplifted.

My wife is an IU alum from the same time Fogle was there and confirmed this. When he first started showing up on TV, she and all of her college friends were like, “Jesus...is that the porn guy???” He evidently had a booming porn rental business going.

T

“If you find yourself angry about this flag planting because it is “disrespectful,” you need to seriously re-evaluate your life.”

Before I ever clicked into the story and saw the video, I knew EXACTLY what these two would look like. I mean, e-x-a-c-t-l-y.

 My freshman year at Ball State (mid-90s), the women’s volleyball team played Oregon State in Muncie (a city that sounds like it’s named after a musculoskeletal pain disorder). The university openly hyped the match and encouraged attendance with a campaign of “SAVE A TREE...EAT A BEAVER!”

“Amy Schumer Is Delusional if She Thinks She’s Funny”

In a related story, New Orleans Saints linebacker Manti Te’o suffered a dislocated shoulder after instintively vaulting over the barricade and diving onto the ice to get to the catfish before anyone else could.

So rather than a slap on the wrist, the Denver Post fittingly goes with the nuclear option.

I don’t know how much shit would weigh you down enough to cost you .2 seconds and a victory, but it’s the exact amount that was in Castroneves’s pants after driving directly underneath that nightmare.

The Brownsiest thing they can do now is name Trent Richardson as running backs coach, and Johnny Manziel as QB coach. Total Brown-out.

“I wanted to bring my grandma with me, but she was framed!”

Richardson attempted to escape arrest, but only made it about 2 yards before inexplicably falling to the ground.

“Oof, that was hard to watch.”

“They have cliques.”

WMU coach Steve Hawkins went on to say he was disappointed to be losing a player who was clearly one of his best shooters.

Met Flav at the airport in the Vegas on my way home a couple years ago. Told him how much me and all of my white-ass friends growing up in Indiana loved Public Enemy when we were growing up. He lit up like Christmas, and proceeded to declare “It ain’t about the color of yo’ skin, it ain’t about where you from, it’s…