Hey, Soul Sister, ain't that Mr. Mister playing on the radio, stereo? The way you…

Yes, they are just regular monsters. Leave the fog out of it!

You'll never guess how Millennials have hacked garlic peeling!

Trump's Abs 2016!!!

I see what you did there.

In 1997, I went to Blockbuster Rockfest in Ft. Worth, TX. It featured Bush, 3EB, No Doubt, Counting Crows, Collective Soul, Jewel, The Wallflowers, Sugar Ray, and more. I don't need these stupid 90's nostalgia tours. I was there, MAN! And I have the (emotional) scars to prove it. Ah, to be 19 years old and stupid…

**Spike Lee angrily tweets Marilyn Manson's address**

Hahaha! It's true! We're so lame!

It's as plain as the nose on your face!

West Texas is great except for the people!

Spoken like a true New Yorker.

There are some mountains way out in West Texas. The Guadalupe Mountains, to be exact. None of them reach 9000 ft of elevation, but they are still pretty cool for hiking/backpacking.

My home state of Texas is actually a pretty great answer to this question, geographically speaking. If you can never leave the state, you can still experience desert, hill country, piney woods, oceanic coastline, rolling plains, and most other types of terrain.

It is a dream of mine to hang out with the two of them for at least 30 minutes, sipping cocktails and discussing the minutiae of hobo skullduggery, but alas, I simply cannot select the appropriate vest for such an occasion.

I've had it up to here with your cowboy antics, Potato Chip! Your gun and your badge, on my desk, NOW!

Yeah, I know, but a homophonic name was close enough for the joke in my mind.

Just the Tip.

Also allegedly dead.

We have Dunkin Donuts in Texas too.

Get outta here with that Frenchy bullshit, Pierre!