Look at this hypocrite.

Saying Pete Carroll isn't a truther is being a Pete Carroll truther.

Keith Law has the science on his side, but you have to give a man of faith like Schilling credit—

This was very funny. What's funnier is the Lakers fans trying to figure out why you might have an irrational beef with Kobe or LA, because there's no other reason for you to be writing an article critical of them.

Dennis as Star Lord.

Holy crap. So many planets of female life forms for him to use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system on.

Photo: AP

When asked about the post game locker room mood, Carmelo said it was like someone passed. He later took back the statement saying he has no idea how that would feel.

Every Rose has its torn [ligaments].

Shouldn't the Eagles' PR staff have some sort of policy against their players following other teams?

Stop being so bitter about your shitty 9-5, no one cares.

"I'm not going to respond to hypotheticals here."

As a Sixers fan I feel like a cancer kid about to get my Make-A-Wish when suddenly the Lakers mainline cesium so they can meet John Cena.

Presto Flo: Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my hat...

See, Giants fans? THAT'S how you act like you've been there before.

I wonder how many angry e-mails Budlight with Lime and Prescott Pharmaceuticals are gonna get this week.

OK, in all seriousness, I have no idea whether any of my colleagues are working on anything on last night's World Series game. I have nothing in particular to say about it. "Oh man, the Royals sure did score a lotta runs off old-ass Jake Peavy!" Like, I don't even want to read my analysis of Game 6, so I'm sure as…

Other strategies considered by Byron:

BREAKING: The Royals won by 10 and the game was over by its midpoint.