*starts picking at this thing on the side of my face with my dirty, dirty fingernails in hopes it turns into a raging pustulio*

Ask you groomer for the dinosaur next time, super cute!

Coke nails. EW

Genderqueer absolutely CAN mean trans tho!

Genderqueer

I thought Delaria has stated that she is gender fluid?

The first and only person who should be considered for this role is Lea Delaria. 

I think it was sunflower seeds! 

-1 Grandma’s messed up dentures

Nuts to you with that picture choice, Barry!

In these awful times where Nothing is Illegal! and The Worst People Do The Worst Things But They’ll Never Go To Jail!, I find myself grasping at even the smallest evidence of karmic retribution. I think most of us are doing the same thing, right? Friends, I know Manafort actually seeing some jail time is a big deal,…

I also have a shits outside the box cat. I’m here for you with as much Kleenex and Method cleaner as you need.

Zootopia reference! You got a good egg there, Gwen.

I still remember the ONE time in my 44 years on this planet that I was actually patient enough to caramelize onions correctly. They were so good.

The finest film about sex and eggs i’ve ever seen

You really didn’t have to do any more writing after this part.

Maaaaaaybe (but no) there could be an argument if that PARTICULAR sign was from the 1920's and a genuine piece of “Americana.” But that sign is not an antique! Some racist asshole made that recently and sells it in his catalog of brand new neon signs! For some other racist asshole to buy and hang in his brand new…

What’s going on with Adventure Time and Cartoon Network? Why is it never on anymore? I check every day hoping they’re just waiting to spring a nice marathon on us but its only ever crappy Teen Titans and that jackass, Gumball.

Screw your legs! I’m a 300 lb woman and I want to make Jetsons noises in my own landspeeder!

Or his hair