Holding aside the grim possibility that Gar Forman and John Paxson grabbed up the options on these two bad players as face-saving measures, the Bulls are in no rush to make moves to improve their immediate outlook.

jeez, i’m sorry, that’s awful

you forgot the angel-hair pasta, and runny poop. not real chili.

* they’re

dude if you delete the watermark from your microscope pictures, i’m pretty sure people won’t be able to “dox” you anymore (also, not sure it counts as “doxxing” when it’s a publicly-available picture and the very first Google result).

Deadspin style question: do updated story headlines get changed to add “(UPDATE),” “[Update]” or “[Updates]”? Or do you just kind of make it up as you go along, you sloppy bastards? (Literally all three of those options currently in use on the Deadspin.com front page.)

This hairstyle is brought to you by Rodney Harrison

The Owner of Gristedes Wants You and I Me to Know the Ice Cream Bandits Have Been Captured

English muffin. Like, with egg and bacon and cheese and extra bacon inside? OH SHIT YEAH. The nice thing is that English Muffins are relatively small, so I have no problem ordering seven breakfast sandwiches and pretending it’s the equivalent of one standard-sized sandwich. They’re like hor deuvres, really.

I just signed up to run a marathon in December. I’ve never run more than 5 miles, and am currently in above-average physical condition, although probably not cardio-wise. On a scale of 1-to-XFL, how misguided is this venture?

Could any of you beat Bill Simmons at Golden Tee?

LOLakers

Kyrie Irving, who isn’t the best or even elite at any one of the core aspects of basketball

Delly also plays solid on-ball defense, is a passable three-point shooter and a great alley-oop thrower.

This is the same middle school where this went down.

Drake the type to cause dissension in the clubhouse.

So after November, can I please get an expletive-laden tutorial on how to make ceviche, or what?

suing Goguen and 100 other unnamed people (referred to as Does 1-100, as in Jane/Jim Doe)

I’ve swallowed just about all I’m going to take from you!